Close
by Carree
Summary: It's just a worn out brown trench coat.  She's gotten mad and tried to throw that thing away at least a hundred times.  But she's got it on tonight.   It's a year later and it's time to decide between holding on a bit longer, or letting go.


A/N: This story is inspired by the song _Closer_ by the Rascal Flatts, I recommend listening to it while you are reading but it's not necessary. It's a little Angsty. Well this is my first X-Men fiction so let me know what you think. If you choose to review, and I hope you do, please offer some points you enjoyed or didn't about my story, as much as I love hearing if you like it, I like to know what parts you like.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I just like to play with them every once and a while.

Revised on April 28 2011.

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Rogue opens her bedroom door carefully, allowing only her head to peak out into the dimly lit hall. A quick glance up and down the hall shows that it's empty and Logan has either retired for the night or is patrolling elsewhere. She opens the door only as much as she needs for her body to slip through. The purple dress shirt she is wearing is many sizes too large and momentarily catches on the door knob before Rogue gently frees it. She closes the door softly and turns to make her way towards the grand staircase.

As she makes her way down the stairs Rogue checks for the tenth time that her old cell phone is still secured in her pocket and squeezes it just to reassure herself that she wont loose it.

The kitchen is dark and quiet, something it rarely is even at night in the Institute and Rogue is grateful for it. She moves to the counter and places her cellphone down on it and dials her voice mail.

His is the only message still saved on the phone so it only takes a second for her to put it on speaker as she moves to the fridge.

"Chérie! You wound 'dis Cajun! Too busy 'aving fun t' pick up?" Rogue smiles at his playful tone. "De' mission seems t' be goin' good, should make it back by tonight. Remy was t'inkin' dinner, just da' two of us. Wear something pretty, chere. Remember, dis Cajun loves you. Remy see you tonight chere."

Rogue almost drops the plate of Jambalaya she had made earlier in the day as she feels her heart constrict painfully. She feels that familiar burning sensation at the back of her throat and knows she will be crying sooner then she thought.

"End of saved messages, press seven to erase, press nine to save."

Rogue places the plate on the counter beside her phone and looks at it for a second, seemingly to consider her options, her thumb hovering over seven before rapidly moving over to nine and pressing it harshly. She dials her voice mail again and allows the message to break the silence again in the otherwise empty kitchen.

Rogue chokes back her tears as she half heartedly munches on the southern dish that Remy had enjoyed making for her many times before.

"Remember, dis Cajun loves you. Remy see you tonight chere."

"Love you too, Swamp Rat." Rogue responds to the message smiling though her eyes are already puffy and red. She presses nine again and pockets the phone leaving the rest of the Jambalaya untouched on the counter.

Rogue looks out the sliding glass door at the Institute's grounds. This time last year there had been snow, but now there is just empty trees and frosted grass. She sighs heavily and leans her forehead against the chilled surface.

She pulls the door open and is reminded the hard way that just because their isn't snow on the ground doesn't mean it's not December and cold outside. She unrolls the sleeves of her dress shirt and pulls it closer around her body. She is about to step outside when a paw like hand grasps her shoulder and turns her around.

Rogue lets out a small squeak of surprise and for a second finds herself hopeful but when her eyes settle on the figure that had grabbed her she is both disappointed and comforted to see that it's Logan.

He looks down at her affectionately, "Hey Stripes, you think it's warm enough to be going out in just that?"

"I..." Rogue's response dies in her mouth and she only shrugs. "It keeps me warm."

"Here kid," Logan pulls the coat seemingly out of thin air and holds it out to her. "You forgot this."

Rogue looks at the coat as if in shock, she clearly remembers throwing it away more then a few months ago in a fit of anger and grief. When she had come to her senses and gone to retrieve it, the coat had been gone.

Rogue gingerly takes the duster from his hands, like the dress shirt, the brown leather trench coat is far too big on her. Logan watches with a breaking heart as Rogue nuzzles her face into the collar and inhales deeply, the sent that still clings to it filling her nose. She melts into the coat as a sad smile makes its way across her face and she pulls it closer to her body, embracing herself, eyes closed as she remembers what his arms felt like around her when it had been he who was wearing it.

Rogue opens her eyes and looks tearfully up at her mentor, the closest thing she has to family, and smiles her broken smile at him.

Logan lets out a grunt as he grabs her shoulder and pulls her in for a hug before she can say thank you. Just as quickly as he grabbed her he pushes her back towards the door.

"I will put some coffee on." Logan tells her gruffly as he turns from her.

Rogue nods silently and steps backwards out through the door and closes it. She makes her way off the large patio and towards the garden where the Memorial Stone is.

The grass crunches under her feet when she stops to look at the stone she pulls the coat tighter around her and at the back of her mind she feels a faint presence, it's warm and comforting and she knows it's all that she has left of him.

"I love you Remy," Rogue choked pressing her face into the soft leather once again and inhaling his sent, leather, Cajun spice, and the cherry smell from his favorite smokes.

The presence at the back of her mind grows warmer and if Rogue closes her eyes she can almost feel him next to her.

Rogue sits on the cold ground and plunges her hands into the pockets of the warm coat. Her hands find a half empty deck of cards and a pack of his cherry cigarillos. Half the pack is still full and wrapped in paper. She gives the wrapping a sharp tug and it pulls off easily leaving the filter tipped ends exposed. Rogue carefully pulls one of the black sticks out and places the filtered tip in between her dry lips. She searches the rest of the coat's many pockets looking for a lighter before remembering that he had never needed one. As she is about to give up hope and put the stick away her finger come across cold metal. She pulls it out of the pocket and recognizes one of Pyro's many Zippos. She flips open the top somewhat clumsily and tries to light it, hoping that the lighter fluid hadn't leaked out during its stay in the coat pocket.

As if granting her wish the lighter sparks and ignites on her first try. Rogue brings the flame to the tip of little cigar and inhales on the stick causing it to light. The tip smolders away as Rogue closes the lighter and places it back where she found it.

Rogue takes a deep drag and promptly starts coughing. She looks at the cigarillo harshly before returning it to her mouth and trying again, this time inhaling less of the sweet smelling smoke. She licks her lips and tastes the cherry on them, the way his lips had tasted after he had just come in from outside, she closes her eyes and smells the fresh smoke along with the leather, his smell. She leans back against the stone and lets out a deep sigh. With the help of what is left of Remy's imprint she can almost believe he is sitting next to her.

A choked sob makes its way up her throat and Rogue gasps out brokenly into the empty night, it's a harsh sound and it tears up her throat in a painful way that still doesn't compare to the pain in her chest. "I miss you Remy." She whispers into the cold night, sending her words up into the air along with the sweet smelling smoke. She quickly finishes the smoke as the cold starts to seep up from the ground and into her body. She stomps the smoldering butt out on the ground and heads back towards the kitchen.

As promised Logan has coffee waiting for her. Normally she wouldn't drink the highly caffeinated beverage so late at night, but she wasn't planning to sleep anyway so she drinks it black, enjoying the almost scalding heat.

Logan sits across from her and silently drinks from his own mug. When they move from their spots at the table the sun is starting to come up and both know the kitchen will be full with the young mutants shortly.

Logan watches silently as Rogue, still clad in the coat that makes her look like a child, places her mug into the sink. Her shoulders are hunched forward and Logan can't help but speak up. "He wouldn't want this for you Stripes. I'm not one for speeches kid, but what I'm getting at is, Maybe it's time to let him go."

Rogue glances back over her shoulder at the man she would have been proud to call her father. His face is an open book to her. He's worried, but he, more then anybody, understands how hard the past can hold on.

She can't offer him an answer in words, maybe it's time to give love a second try, she offers him a half smile and walks from the kitchen.

By the time she reaches her room she had shrugged the coat off her shoulders and has it draped over her arm. The smell and feel are too deceiving for her to allow herself to remain in it any longer.

She opens her bedroom door and allows her eyes to sweep her room. His things are mixed in randomly with hers. His cologne sits next to her favorite perfume on her dresser, her's is pristine and almost empty, his is half full and covered in dust.

Her closet door is already open and she walks right over to it. She pulls out a hanger and with gentle finger she hangs the coat up and pushes to the back. Tears are back in her eyes again as she places her cell phone with his voice on it in the pocket and closes the door. "Goodbye."

Rogue climbs back into bed and pulls her pillow to her chest as tears flow down her cheeks freely. Her chest feels as many sizes too small as the shirt is too big on her and she clutches the pillow to herself even tighter at the though.

Her fingers slip and she feels soft cardboard under her fingers and pulls the Queen of Hearts out from under her pillow. Softly she brings the card to her lips before placing it face down on her nightstand.

"I'll always remember."

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A/N: Thanks for reading guys, before you go if you choose to leave a review, and I hope you do, If in your review you could include a favourite line or a favourite idea I presented I would be grateful. I Like to know exactly what aspects my readers enjoy (or don't) about my writing!


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